Steve, my brother, passed away 1 year ago today. It seems like it was just a few months ago.

I remember the day clearly. I talked to Steve that morning about how he was feeling and what they thought was wrong with him. The call about about 10 minutes. He had to go because they were about to run a test on him. He told me to call him back when I got home and we could talk longer. We ended the call with "ok, talk to you later". About 45 minutes later he passed away. Sudden and unexpected.

When the nurse called me, she was vague...but not. You know when people are trying to tell you something without actually telling you? That's what she was doing. I think he'd passed away already when she called and she just didn't want to give me that news prior to being at the hospital. Since she hadn't actually said he had passed, there was this ounce of hope in me that he'd be ok when we got there. I saw my sister in the lobby and she already knew he was gone and told me. So painful.

When we left we went to get his car from the parking lot. Holding his keys was sad. Arriving at his house, his doggy had not seen him in a few days and the sound of his car pulling up made him think my brother was home. But then we walked in....not Steve. Can you imagine that poor dog wondering and continually waiting for Steve to come home? Heartbreaking.

I think about Steve every day. You just never know when will be the last time you talk to someone. I can't wait for September to be over.